Angry people. We all know at least one person that we would refer to as an angry person, right? Someone with an anger problem? Well, I know I do. I usually don't enjoy being around these types of people. They aren't all the same but they all leave me feeling the same way. It's never a good feeling.
I would never consider myself an angry person. I love all my friends and family. I am grateful for everything I have. I am always happy and having fun. Sure, I have off days but so does everyone. I'm definitely not an angry person, right?
I'm starting to realize I might be wrong. I've been noticing that lately I have been quick to anger. I have always looked at anger as a negative emotion. I have looked at it as a sign of weakness. Usually, I am appalled at the reasons people get angry. Outside looking in it is easy to see that the situation at hand is not that bad, leaving the angry person looking foolish.
Then, I took some time to really examine my anger. You might associate anger with words like rage, chaos, shouting, ect. It's easy to associate anger with these words because that is what the experience of anger feels like right? I used to think so. But, now I believe that these things are a symptom of anger. Anger itself is quite stealthy. In fact, it hides and creeps up on you.
My mom passed away almost eleven years ago. For eleven years I have dealt with many emotions and feelings over this. I have never dealt with my anger. Why? Because I didn't think I was angry. For eleven years I have had this volcano inside of me waiting to erupt. I never even noticed. I ignored all the signs.
Anger is definitely something that needs to be worked through. It shouldn't be something you hold on to. It will only continue to grow and get worse over time.
Admitting this is extremely hard for me. However, I want to be healed. I AM angry that my mom passed away. There, I said it.
