not all those who wander are lost

“All that is gold does not glitter,
Not all those who wander are lost;
The old that is strong does not wither,
Deep roots are not reached by the frost.

From the ashes a fire shall be woken,
A light from the shadows shall spring;
Renewed shall be blade that was broken,
The crownless again shall be king.” 
― J.R.R. Tolkien

don't take your eyes off of your goal

This story is an old one, but it's one worth sharing. At least, I think so. As soon as it happened I remember thinking that I would write a blog about it one day. So here it goes …

I never go to the gas station at night. You can ask anyone who knows me. I barely go at all. I always let my car get to E (which drives my husband crazy) but I won't go at night unless someone is with me. 

Well, one night I did. I was on my way home from hanging out with friends and I was pretty low on gas and I decided to pull in and fill up. As I was at the pump a million thoughts started racing through my head. I immediately regretted my decision as the thoughts started to take over and I began to feel unsafe. I didn't really know the area, there wasn't much light, and I was alone. It felt like forever, but I was finally done at the pump and I started to walk towards my car. I was still focused on what was going on around me and my crazy thoughts that when I opened the door, the corner of it hit me in the head. HARD. 

I almost passed out right there next to my car. But somehow, I managed to fight the overwhelming sensation and get into my car. I immediately started crying. I was crying because it hurt. It hurt very bad and it kept getting worse and when I looked in the mirror there was blood dripping down my face. I started driving. I called my husband sobbing and told him what happened. "Should you be driving?" he asked. Of course the answer was that I probably shouldn't be driving, but I convinced him that it was fine and got off the phone. I continued crying and in the midst of it I felt a sudden calm. Right then and there a thought popped into my mind …

Don't take your eyes off of your goal.

That was it. Thoughts flooded my mind and it started to make sense. My goal was to get to my car. I took my eyes off of my goal by letting my mind worry about all the different things that could happen. As soon as I did that, Wham! 

I thought about how that applied to life. Whenever we are working toward our goals there are always going to be obstacles along the way. As long as we keep our eyes (mind) on the goal we can overcome the obstacles. But, once you change your focus from the goal to the obstacles themselves, that's when we get hurt. That is when we give in to our fears and worries and the goal seems impossible.

I finally made it home. I had a big bump on my head and it hurt pretty bad. But, I had gained perspective. I had learned a valuable lesson … don't go to the gas station at night. :)

enjoy the little things

I made a new video about enjoying the little things in life. Sometimes it is easy to get caught up in the day to day business of our lives and we forget to enjoy the moments.

a letter to my future self

Dear Tonia,

I hope this letter finds you well. I am writing this to you with hopes that it will bring some joy to your heart, make you smile, and maybe even make you laugh. 

This is your first blog. You have been wanting to start a blog for awhile and you finally did. Along with that, you started a YouTube channel and plan to make many videos. It's a scary feeling. Hopefully by now you have written many blogs, made many videos, and the feeling that you have in the pit of your stomach is a little easier to deal with now. I hope that you have made new friends and touched some peoples lives because you put yourself out there. 

I want you to know that it's probably not going to be easy. There are going to be many times when you will want to give up. You will want to quit because it will seem like your dreams are impossible. Please don't. Don't ever give up. I believe in you. I also believe that along the way, you will find other people who believe in you too. You just have to keep going.

I hope you remember that as you are on this journey, that there will be other people in your life who have dreams that they have not sought after as well. Do your best to recognize that and support them. We are all in this together. You never know when your words of encouragement or your simple kindness will make the difference in someone's life. You have to believe in other peoples dreams as much, if not more, than your own. 

Live in the moment. That's important. Time slips by so fast. Try not to spend time worrying about the future and harping on the past. You know that will get you nowhere. All that will do is rob you of your time and happiness. I hope that right now you are grateful for everyone and everything you have in your life. I hope you realize how lucky you are. Please make sure you love everyone in your life with your whole heart. Don't miss out on the good stuff because you're focused on the small stuff. Take it from me, you won't even remember half the things you worried about. But the moments, those are yours to keep.

I know it has been hard for you along the way. I know how terrifying going after what you want really is. You are venturing out into the great wide open. You have no idea how it will turn out. It could be a disaster. I hope you remember that the thought of NOT doing what you want is way more terrifying than any awful thing that could happen. This is where you can find your strength. You have to be more afraid of not doing what you want then doing it. I hope you are able to focus on that.

I wish you good luck. If you're in a rough spot right now, I hope these words encourage and motivate you.If things are going well for you I hope that it continues. I wish you good health and hope there is joy in your heart. Take care of yourself and those around you and always follow your heart.

Sincerely,
Your past self