objects in mirror may be closer than they appear

I do a lot of my best thinking in the car. I know that doesn’t seem like the best place to be having deep thoughts and epiphanies, but I can’t help it. I also make music videos in my head but that’s not really where I’m going with this so let’s save that subject for later. I go through a lot of emotions as well. I cry, I laugh, I sing at the top of my lungs, I get angry, and I might just be the truest version of myself while in the car. I feel safe there, just me and the open road. So it should come as no surprise that I had the idea for this post while in my car. So without further adieu I present you with:

Life Lessons Driving has taught me: Part I

Trust the timing of your life

I got my drivers license when I was 18. All of my friends got theirs when they were 16. My delay was not due to my parents or other circumstances; it was because I didn’t feel like I was ready. When I finally did get my license I felt more comfortable and ready to handle all of the responsibilities that came with driving. In life, sometimes your timing may not seem to be lining up with other people. You may be thinking about your age and thinking you should have certain things or that you should’ve accomplished A, B or C by now. That is not true. You decide when and if you should or should not do anything in this life. If you’re not ready for something, trust that.

Use what you know to guide you

Before I got my license I had to have a permit for 30 days. That gave me one month to practice before I was set free onto the open road. My mom drove with me a lot because she knew I was nervous. One day we were driving to pick up my friend and on the way it started raining. Then it started pouring. I could not see anything and I was starting to freak out. My mom was very calm and she told me to look for the line on the right side of the road and use it to guide me. She said I would be ok, to just drive slow and follow the line. She was right. I ended up making it to my friends’ house safely. I still use that trick whenever I am driving in rain to this day. I also use it in my life. If I am feeling lost and can’t seem to find my way. I look for something that I know to guide me until I can see clearly again.

Accidents happen

I’ve been in a few car accidents. I consider myself a responsible driver; I follow the rules, and do my best to be safe. It still did not prevent those accidents from happening. There are a lot of times in life when things will go wrong, mistakes will be made, injuries will occur. Hopefully a lesson is learned and you become a better person because of it. 

Be Courteous to others

The road is a lot like life when it comes to people. You see a lot of people’s ugly sides. You see people who act dangerously and seem to have no regard for others. You see a lot of impatience. But you also see a lot of kindness. People letting people pass, people stopping to help animals or people singing and laughing together in the car. There will always be angry unkind people. Don’t let them change you. Choose to be kind in spite of their ugliness. The world will thank you.

Sometimes you have to find another way

It’s happened to me more times than I can count. I’m happily driving somewhere I’ve been a thousand times and then all of a sudden the road is closed. I have to turn around and find another way to get to where I was going. Sometimes I get lucky and there is a detour to follow. Other times, I am on my own.  Oh, how true to life this is. Sometimes you will have all of your steps planned out and know exactly how you are going to get to a goal and then all of a sudden something happens and you are unable to accomplish what you set out to do. Do you give up when that happens? Absolutely not! You just have to figure out a new approach. Do research – maybe someone will have ideas for you that can help. If you can’t find any information, well, you are on your own. Just remember, there is always more than one way to get to where you need to go. It’s not always going to be the road you thought that will get you there.

Take care of yourself

Cars cannot run on empty. There is also routine maintenance that needs to be done to make sure your car runs properly and lasts a long time. You must get oil changes, change the filters, check brake pads and so much more. You can ignore some of these things for a while but eventually your car will stop running either temporarily or altogether. Your body, mind and spirit are the same. You must take care of them. If you go too long without proper nourishment, sleep or exercise, your body will shut down. If you work too much or stay in a highly stressful situation for too long, your mind will suffer. You can have an unhealthy mind and body and still function, but not well, and not as long as you would if you took care of those things. Do the maintenance. You deserve it.

Enjoy the ride

I am someone who loves road trips. I love singing at the top of my lungs and taking in all of the beautiful scenery as it passes my by. I love rolling down the windows and feeling the breeze against my face and through my hair. I use that time to reflect and think but I also live in the moment and try to take it all in. I don’t like to rush, but I don’t like to take forever either. You will go a lot of places in life. You will have a lot of moments. The past is important – visit it when you need to. The future is important – It provides direction if we use it properly. But the present moment is the most important place of them all. It is all we really have. Enjoy the ride.

the path

steve the dot

bill and mazy

who am i?

on dealing with disappointment

Accept that even though you have made plans and goals, it may not always work out that way. Doing this may help you avoid disappointment all together. Sometimes, though, we will still get disappointed. Disappointed with ourselves, other people and situations. The important thing is this …

The moment we are disappointed we must feel it, make a decision about what we are going to do and then immediately let it go. 

Some of the saddest people I have met are the ones who carry around their disappointment when all they have to do is set it down. 

another year around the sun

If you couldn't tell by the title of this post, I have recently celebrated a birthday. Birthdays are always a strange time, especially as you get older. This birthday for me was a time of reflection. I have spent the past couple of months writing down different things that I have learned about life so far. Some of them may change eventually but for now they are true. I wanted to share my list with you. In no particular order, here are random truths i've learned on my journey through life ...

Remember That People Are Human
People make mistakes. Not everyone is out to get you or make your life harder. Think back to a time when someone has shown you some compassion and how grateful you were. This doesn't mean to let people walk all over you but it might eliminate a lot of stress if you just take a moment to remember that everyone (including you) makes mistakes.

There Is A Time For Everything
My dad used to say this to me all the time. It's true. There IS a time for everything. When you work too much, play too much, do anything in excess then your life will quickly become imbalanced. You will end up neglecting other important areas in your life. There will be moments that will occur where you may have to temporarily put more energy and time into something and that's ok. If it becomes a habit, though, then other areas of your life will suffer.

Feel Your Feelings
This is so important. You must allow yourself to feel whatever it is that you are feeling. When you suppress your emotions you might feel like you have overcome them but they will always find a way back. They will also come back much worse than before. Being strong does not mean that you don't get sad, angry, or any other emotion. 

Don't Judge Yourself For The Way That You Feel
Allow yourself to feel whatever emotion comes up without judgement. It does not define you as a person. Feel it, learn from it, and then move on. 

Sometimes Being A Good Friend Means Letting Go
This is a hard one. It can be applied to romantic relationships as well. When you love and care about someone it can be hard to imagine your life without them. But sometimes people take advantage of you, hurt you, or have other problems and they refuse to help themselves. There is only so much you can do. If it gets to a certain point sometimes the best thing to do is to remove yourself from the situation. 

Take Small Bites
This lesson came up because I had to relearn how to eat after I got braces. I had to take very small bites. I noticed that by doing that I enjoyed my meals more and ate less. I thought about how that can be applied to life. If you are going through a hard time or trying to accomplish a big goal just take small steps. One at a time. Eventually you will get there and it will be a much more pleasant experience.

Don't Compare Yourself To Other People
We are all on different paths. We all have different pasts. You never know what someone has been through to get to where they are. Comparing yourself to others is a waste of energy. There will always be people behind and ahead of you. Always. Instead of comparing yourself to other people try comparing yourself to yourself. Always try to be the best version of yourself. It will feel a lot better and get you a lot further.

The Only Approval Needed Is Your Own
If you spend your time trying to please others and gain their approval you will be very unhappy. You will lose yourself and find that you always fall short. Do the things that you want to do. Live your life the way that you want to live it. The people in your life that are truly your friends will love you for it. 

You Can't Change People
No matter how hard you try. It just can't be done. The only person you can change is yourself. 

Choose Your Words Wisely
Words are powerful. Once you say something you can't take it back. You can really hurt someone and even if they forgive you it is highly unlikely that they will forget. Take time to think before you speak and if you don't have anything nice to say it is better to say nothing at all.

Mistakes Are How You Learn
Take risks. Try new things. Not only will you have a more enjoyable life, but you will learn a lot more. Everyone makes mistakes, they are nothing to be afraid of.

Take Care Of Your Body
Our bodies are pretty resilient. However, over time they will start to fail if you don't take care of them. It also takes a lot of time to reverse years of abuse. It's not something that can be fixed with pills. Those fixes are temporary. So try to love your body. It's where you live and it's the only one you have.

Only Worry About What You Have Control Over
Whenever you find yourself with a problem ask yourself this question - What do I have control of in this situation? That's how you should approach everything. If you don't have control over it, no matter how many scenarios you play through your head, it will not change the situation or the outcome. Save yourself the energy.

Listen More
I was watching a Ted Talk one time and the man speaking said you can't learn anything new from listening to yourself talk. How true is that?

Explore
Sometimes you need to visit new places and see new sceneries to be inspired. I often hear people say "it must be nice" when people are going on vacation. But you don't have to go somewhere far to have an adventure. Just because you can't afford a plane ticket is no excuse to not have an adventure! I am willing to bet there are places in your own or neighboring towns that you have never visited. Take some time to enjoy your surroundings.

Stay Humble
It is never fun to be around someone who thinks they are better than other people in any way. If you think your work or your life is better than someone you must remember that you are only seeing their present situation. Everyone has potential. You are not better than any person. It is important to treat everyone with the same love and respect that you wish to be treated with. The golden rule people.

There Is No Way Out - Only Through
Life can dish out some doozies. There are some moments that can be very difficult to believe that you will ever make it through. But you will. Looking for ways to avoid pain will only numb and suppress it. You must actually go through it to come out the other side. Everytime. No Exceptions.

Be True To Who You Are
My mom always told me to follow my heart. My dad always said to trust my gut. However you want to say it, the point is we all have an inner compass that guides us. Don't change who you are or what you want for fear of what other people might think. Go your own way. People will end up admiring you for it.

Don't Take Yourself To Seriously
You have to be able to laugh at yourself. Life is not always so serious. If you fail at something, take the opportunity to find the humor in the situation. Laughter really is the best medicine. 

That's all I have for now. Some truths I've gathered from this journey of life. I hope you found some of these helpful. If you have any to add I would love to hear them!